Catch my soul 'cause it's willing to fly away.

Monday, April 30, 2007

And now that I'm strong I have figured out,

My sister's baby boy is superrrrrrr cute to the core,i love to carry him!!And my brother-in-law calls me possessive cause i refuse to let the others carry him.. Anyway it's so cool,i'm super intrigued by my sister's pee bag.There's this tube joined into her body that the pee will flow into which will be collected in this bag.Freaking cool,the bag is warm too,i think due to the pee temperature hmm..My sister said i was mad.How can i be?Will post photos of Seth if i get them

Anyway i just felt like saying this.I don't know how to describe it,maybe it's just kinship,but i love my sister so much.Every single word she says affects me,like this morning i cried for her (happy tears) bfore she entered the surgical room for her caesarean birth.She means more than anything to me in the world fullstop.More than my parents,more than any friend,more than any one.Jiejie i love you,for everything else youve done<3 Gah emo now want to cry already so i better stop it lest i get puffy eyes tomoloz which sucks cause i wont look pretty oh shit that sounded bimbotic.

Anyway i kinda did some A.Maths today in KK hospital while accompanying my sister dearest.Why?Cause i'm going to Siglap to study with Phylicia tmr and it might just end up not being productive like on Sunday(just a thousand times worse this time cause she's bringing a camera which is majorrrr distraction.Oh talking about Sunday..i'll post the photos when/if i get them.)Hence i backed up and studied a bit on Vectors and the stupid bionomial or something like that.Yes i am a certified nerd now!Oh and geog today was okay i think..Considering the unsuccessful attempt to study at Siglap on Sunday and unsuccessful attempt to study after dinner at Manf's that sunday since we were surfing the tattoo and piercings site.And me started watching Heroes after that..I want my house speaker fixed ): I want to watch Heroes ah.Want want very very badly.

OH OH!! Did i mention?My mother struck lottery yesterday and she is getting me the jeans woohoowaahoo!! I am like super happy because like i've said for the 861651612th time,i love the jeans (x tenthousand&two). HAHA YOU ARE JEALOUS. Not. Still i am happy woo!! Watch,i am going to wear that black jeans with the gold zip slit at the bottom soon which is super hot,i mean the jeans.I am sooooo in love with the jeans did i mention?Omg i am getting it like this week!!Yes i am

How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.

} 11:03 PM

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Kiss and make it all up.

Hi.I am having in the midst of an exam period where everyone is studying and few are online so actually i am supposed to fit in too and not come online but temptation got the better of me haha.Had my English paper yesterday.Lol the report wrote "You are advised to write between 250-350 words" But on my first page i already wrote 410 words plus i wrote 2 whole full pages good game:) And i'm having my Core Geog paper in two days time together with i think Chinese which i'm going to fuck big time.Oh welllll.And and and!!!!! MY SISTER IS GIVING BIRTH ON THAT MONDAY.I am so excited,baby Seth<3333

Supposed to have some family dinner with all my relatives etc later at my unc's but i feel so tired i dont feel like going sigh.Nvm shut up.K i realised something,my wishlist at the near bottom right of my blog haven't been moving and nothing have been bought yet lol.My financial situation as Imee said,is super bad.However,i am willing to cancel everything there if i can get the Mango black jeans.It's super duper nice,with gold zip at the bottom so you can open a slit.Ahh i am going crazy i want it so bad and cheers i can get it either with a discount(thanks to lynn & her friend) or i can get it as cheap as $25 though it costs like $99.Can't say why,it's kinda..illegal :/ But if i dont get it by next week i'll buy it at full price even.Thats how bad i want it.. I'm not rich i'm just impulsive when i want things

I cannot stop thinking about piercings!!!! I shall just make this short and sweet,i can't wait for June ah phylicia!!! Kthxbey

Kay tmr i'm going Siglap with Xiao Xuan to study,anyone wanna come along?Call me.I got to go to my uncle's already bye

} 6:50 PM

Monday, April 23, 2007

Catch my soul 'cause it's willing to fly away.

Hi.Today i was super bored and started thinking about all the weird places i want to pierce.Now i don't want lip already i want nape,naval and wrist.But none (none at all actually!) of my friends are supportive of the piercings and i think the only person who will be supportive is Phylicia cause she had the nape one bfore.Right love? Sigh ): No one understands that i like to pierce.

I always like to,and just that ear piercings are no longer new to me = the adrenaline is lost and thats why i moved to body piercings.It's just like how some people like to drink when they're down,or smoke or scream or whatever..My outlet is just having the adrenaline rush and fear before i do piercings.Of course i can do it with better ways like say bungee jumping,but find me a place in Singapore well worthy to bungee jump then tell me that fullstop.At least i don't steal/shoplift/kill/rape/suicide or do bloody high school massacres like that South Korea dude no? So i think i am pretty sane already. Yes i think so okay don't you dare go sing another tune.

I know you guys hate me doing all this shit stuff to my body,but i have a right don't i?All i want is some freaking support from you guys cause no two person is going through what i am and how i'm taking it and i don't expect you guys to understand but just show me some support.It may sound ridiculous to show support to someone who wants to pierce her life away but c'mon thats all you all can do cause i'm no longer willing to open up.Thats all i have to say,everything i do i do with a reason - to make myself happy.And thats all that matters right? Call me foolish,but i learn things the hard way,i'm a daft cow bye.

Anyways,today was very the love.Finally had lunch together with everyone around the table (- Donna).We sang Sophia's personalised Chain Hang Low song which now goes:

Does your boobs hang low
Does it jingle to and fro
Can you tie it in a knot
Can you tie it in a bow
Can you throw it over your shoulders
Can you hang it round your toes
Does your boobs hang low?

Don't slap me please,Donna started singing it to us which started the whole crap. -points to Donna,her fault i swear!

Then Abby Imee and i started discussing the cliche old pick up lines,here's a couple of good ones.

1) I am Sin square,you are Cos square,together we are one.
2) Do you have a map? Cause i seem to have gotten lost in your eyes.
3) Is your father a terrorist? Cause you're da bomb!

Haha still got more ah i can't remember.Had a good time laughing at those.

Okay know something?Mid-Years are 4 days away pretty!I like have no idea what to study,what is tested at all?I am so gonna flunk like mad because i kind of have been drifting in class =

1) Totally lost regarding Vectors
2) Totally lost regarding differentiation of Ln Log and all that shit.
3) Totally screwd up Chinese when my teacher believes i can get an A1/A2!
4) Totally no idea about anything regarding History except Mao-Tze-Dong was a communist and Hitler was a..something
5) Totally mad about Social Studies such that i actually used Geog references on a Social Studies test how stupid is that!?
6) Totally.Fucked.Up.And.Boring.Physics

Chemistry and English are the only subjects by far i'm confident of passing.Lol?

Well actually,give me enough money (about $200) for the nape&naval piercings and i promise i'll study! Yes i will. Okay maybe i think i will.There's a good chance i will.Uh damn i might lah

Eh i must try to study tomorrow.. So i'll try to abstain from the com,and books (which aparantly i've already run out of cause i finished every book i have) and,the bed.Which might be a wee bit hard.Hehe goodbye!

} 8:26 PM

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Load up on guns and bring your friends.

I miss Starburst -pulls face. Anyways,soccer yesterday was fun.One-on-one.The last game with Charles,the score was 10-5(He 10 lah duh).Which my 5 goals,4 is kinda play cheat one plus his goalpost was twice the size of mine.HAHA.And i fell ): I got a whole row of diagonal cuts down my left leg.Ugly and extremely(!!!) painful when i'm bathing.Owh

Yeh yesterday at Donna's,Cliffton&Xiaoxuan(soon to be couple) were study dating,Lynette&Donna were baking while i went down to play soccer lah.Then when i came back,i helped a bit with the putting the icing on the freshly baked cupcakes and making the names on the cupcakes(KC-Kennth Chan, ♥ Ni-Nicole,Jill-Jillene,LW-Lynette,and the rest Donna did lah haha cause i got too frustrated with the stupid silver sugar balls used to make the names.

Yes okay,i went to school today for A maths& SS.Shouldn't have gone cause all that Mdm Halilah went through during A Maths were kinda basic plus i was super super tired and couldn't concentrate half the time.And i ended up skipping SS test too which = i should have stayed home and slept in.No?

Tried to play soccer but when the ball rammed against my left leg(the cuts!!),it was so painful i stopped after awhile.

Right.I'll blog some other time,and in case i forgot,Raunaq & Shahdan scored two goals during the interclass soccer too! (Which resulted in our class win of 1st place! Wow!) Ok Raunaq,there.HAHA

P.S. I miss Veron that idiot in GoldCoast very much xthousand! Oh & Kaylie in UK too! <3

} 6:42 PM

Thursday, April 19, 2007

(Edited)

Love of mine,someday you will die.

There is a real need this time to repeat the lyrics above,because..

Starburst died.It was all sickly this morning(all of a sudden),but at least it gave me a chance to give it its final kiss,touch and stroke.Fucking hell.I was on the bus already when my mom called me and told me it died.Tears started streaming down my face.The St Patrician sitting beside me must have thought i was freaking weird.I walked into school late,and headed straight for the toilet.I told myself i won't cry anymore.I'd just keep to myself the whole day,but the moment i open my mouth to speak to my friend,i started crying again.I cried for 5 periods(wow) and whenever i spoke to anyone about Starburst,i would cry again.Guys are inhumane,Ian Diniy and Ryan all laughed at my so called 'stupidity of crying for an animal' and said i'll be okay after buying a new one.Fuck it was Starburst not just a rabbit,it was my Starburst,my first pet,the pet i love so much.I don't know if it was my fault or because it was the runt.I mean,i did take it out for walks,gave it food and mutitudes of love and care.I want my Starburst back,i want.

Photos from Zhafir's cam:

Love and me.

Love and me ):

It was a male.This was what i had wanted to blog about yesterday,when my bunny was still fine.He,is a male.There's no point now anyway..Ok stop this,i'm gna start crying again.Why must all that i love leave?

Starburst,i will love you and hold you in memory.If i ever get another rabbit/pet whatsoever,it'll be called Starburst Junior(: Much love.

Other images,

Natasha and me with the cute small car we 'stumbled' upon.

This is what Juk Fen did to Melson.That mad-ass cow.

We are addicted to Netball:)

After playing Netball,on the way home.Nicole's Shopaholic book (which is super bimbotic please) is super hilarious.

After effects of Math.

(Ok i couldn't finish this post yesterday so i edit from here.)

Uh we've been staying back in school daily this few days just to play Netball,and instead i've been trying to pick up soccer! It's really fun,swear.I'm currently at Donna's with Lynette Xiaoxuan and Clifton.Going to go down and play(learn) soccer with(from) Charles soon anyway.I am going to learn how to juggle.I AM going to :) Watch me.I can do it.

Oh and Mr Leong(the new OM) from my school is hilarious!! I think he has hearing problems.That time when i had to sit outside office for half a day cause it was my 648545 timeth late,he came to me with a packet of biscuit and placed it on my table.

Mr Leong: Here,for you.
Me: Oh thanks.
Mr Leong: Huh you don't want ah?
Me: Oh no,i just said thanks.
Mr Leong: (takes away biscuit) Oh okay then.

Then today,

Me: (waving) Mr leong,did you see Mr Ng?!
Mr Leong: (wave back) Hi! Had your lunch yet?

Yes okay funny.And i had Chinese oral today,it sucked like hell man.The oral question had two parts,in the second part of the question there were these two chim(maybe not soooo chim) chinese words the teacher used which i did not understand.So i ignored that question and answered the first only.Then the teacher asked the second question again.I went in chinese: Uh what is that? She repeatted the two words clearly and i replied her again: So..whats that? Shit lah die already. D:

K going down now,bye!

(20/04/07 - 6.13pm)

} 10:18 PM

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Another masquerade in false circumstance.

Donna Nicole Jillene Cheryl Alexandria and me!

Oishi died.Fuck that stupid cat that ate it.Now Starburst has lost its partner ): Nicole don't be too upset okay love.Stupidstupid greedy fat ugly cat(Actually i don't know how it looks like,i just imagine).So sinful ah how can you eat your neighbour's house pet!

Anyway,we had Games Carnival on Friday.The school like facing some major time constraints siah.Can't even let us have it during school time.Therefore it took place after school.Played a lot of Netball - with the guys even,during the in betweens of games.Got pissed off at the last hour or so before we left school cause some guy was shit-hell-of-a-rude to me.I just pulled off the bib(?) dumped it on the floor,walked off and went to sit with Melson,Leon,Jillene,and Cheryl to complain(a lot)!Actually more like hurl abuses hmm..Oh whatever

Oh we had to gather at the school hall to see the people receive the Games Prizes,which 4H got 1st for Soccer and Badminton!! :D Shafie scored the final penalty goal for soccer thanks to my milo lol.Yeah Donna and i were like waiteresses serving milos on trays to the soccer players.And they littered the whole soccer field with the cups haha.Camwhored a bit on the soccer field with Zhafir as well while watching my class' match.Will get the photos on Monday,so watch this space!

Oh then after the whole Games Carnival,a couple of us went to Parkway Pastamania for dinner.Bfore we went to that techshop,the one next to Pastamania?Sell all the laptops and camera stuff shop?Yeh i don't ever want to step in there again lol.Cause Nicole and I,followed by Shearen and I took photos with the inbuild camera on the Vaio laptops,and put them as the wallpaper haha!Ok fine it was my idea but so funny after putting it as the wallpaper,we quick chao.Left Shearen and David the lovebirds at Parkway.Then we went home.Tmd i got scolded for going home late not because i was home late.But because the rest had to wait for me to reach home to play mahjong as they were one player short lol.

Wola,i bathed Starburst a couple of days ago! It smelt so good that day okay.And i even put rabbit deodorising powder for it.I've grown so attached to it in just this two weeks,and i cannot imagine giving it away,or it dying,ever..When i cry,it listens(like it has a choice,but it seriously stays still and lies beside me and thats sooooo adorable kthx).And i'm proud to say that i actually dare to pick up its shit with my bare hands! :D Haha,but i'm so inconsiderate.If i'm not near a rubbish bin,i'll just fling the shit out of the window hahahaha.

I think,exams are starting in two weeks time.And i think,i haven't started studying.Actually i think,i don't even know what am i supposed to study.Crash.Die

It's the 14th today,and i never expected it to hurt so much,like the way it did when that was your answer to me ha ha.Literally i just felt my heart cringe,the way my face will when i see cockroaches or ants.Yes,that way.

} 7:25 PM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

My eyes burn from these tears,You think you'd learn over these years.

Starburst & Oishi!

Meet Starburst! :)

Ok i brought him/her to school today,and i realise rabbits really make everyone go soft ok! Including the gays hmm.. Well Ming Yan and Hong Yong were super like super super super affectionate to it gasp! It's kind of scary actually,watching how Ming Yan kisses my bunny especially :/ I hope my rabbit did not experience any trauma. Ok i hope even more that Ming Yan doesn't happen to read this haha.

My bunny is so cute no?Ah its so small okay,like really really tiny. Sometimes i even mistake it for a hamster,how can right! Phylicia i know youre jealous but too bad no rabbits or hamsters or cats for you,your dog don't allow haha neyneynipoopoo :D

Yesterday i brought my bunny to the corridoor to let it run around. Siah lah bad decision,my neighbour's three kids came running out to play with it. They don't want let me hold the rabbit and insist on holding it all stillllll nevermind. Then the oldest of them three dropped my rabbit wtf! Like almost one metre high?I got pissed i almost scolded them. That same boy still dare hinthint say "How i wish i could borrow it" Like ya if i lent you the rabbit it will return dead.I took my rabbit and said i want to eat dinner already and went back into my house. Today they came over and said they wanna see the rabbit.My dad boomed at them "Rabbit sleeping lah!" Haha it was hilarious.Kids are usually so cute,i wonder how they turned out like that tsk.

Unknowingly,i've actually typed a whole post of my rabbit ha.Now to me,I've been giving it some good thought,i won't pierce my lip already.Although it's like super hot and some are telling me to go ahead with it,i won't because,i will get many upset.Okay,and should i dye blue-black black-red or brown?Hello i need help in more than one way ha.

You know,i feel like you really cannot be bothered.And i'm like the fool trying to piece everything together,thanks?Really sucks you know the feeling,and since you had ask me to talk to you through this stupid hell of a fucking blog and not even to your face,it just seems to me that you can't face up to what happened,that you can't face me,in some way.Maybe i remind of what happened that chalet night,maybe i remind you of so many unhappiness.Ok fine,but you can't avoid me forever,things still have to be settled.My friends are calling me stupid you know,to be waiting like that.And actually,i find myself stupid too.You keep harping on "If you really love me, ..." Now its my turn.If you'd really love me,you would forgive me for those simple and stupid things i've made you upset with and not just avoid the whole issue and leave it one side to pile up.It is because of that,did we end up with so much quarrels all,because it was all piled up.If you really did love me,you wouldn't have cared about your face your pride more than or as much as you cared for me.The chalet incident,i remember i asked you if you were upset because that girl was me or because that guy can laugh at you,you said both.

Long time ago,i had wanted to end us already,but i never could bear to because i didn't want to see you upset.But you never considered that point.When you wanted it you just went ahead so you could feel better.Then,as you like it,you hurt me further telling me you loved me less and all.Ok fine i took it in i did stupid things that in my opinion could numb me and make me feel better.Then you got angry and all.Nevermind that also.I did even more stupid things,things that could have gotten me into trouble.Then only did you tell me what your feelings never changed you love me you want me back.Only when something happen did you tell me all that.I mean,whats the point now..Your pm writes "Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me.." It shows you can't move on,yet why do you keep avoiding this shit.Whenever i try to talk to you about it,you either ignore me or ignore me.Why do you have to torture me further,why?

I'm not too good at words,and maybe you disagree with everything i've said up there.That's all just my point of view and like you see things from yours and not try to understand mine,this too,is my point of view.There's like a thousand more emotions bustling in me.But i don't know how to let them out.I don't want to breakdown again,because i want to show you i'm stronger than you ever thought i was.But someday,i fear..I'll let it all go - the wrong way.

__

Good things won't last forever.

} 8:07 PM

Sunday, April 08, 2007

I wanna live again,I wanna start everything over again

Happy Easter Day,

Thought of blogging a whole post on how pissed i am at everything but when i asked myself why was i pissed,i couldn't find no answer.Therefore i deleted everything because i realise i would just sound stupidstupid. I want to pierce i want to pierce i want to pierce now. Its my way of relieving stress actually or just something i do when i'm not feeling good. I even felt(felt not feel) like closing my tongue hole and re-piercing yes i'm full of angst i'm perversed thanks but i'll get over it its temporary only i think i hope okay shut up.

Next week or the week after next when i have the money,i'm going to dye my hair blue black set!

Starburst is like freaking fat now?Comparing how scrawny it was previously when i bought it,it did put on a good deal of weight hmm.. And it's been eating then peeing and shitting,eating then peeing and shitting omg. Plus the pee is like orange cause of the carrots?Oh and easter bunny,i did buy for it rabbit food but the food was too hard for it so now i have to go buy another box of rabbit food for junior rabbits.Waste my money.

I wanna get this right,I'll meet you in another life

} 8:25 PM

Saturday, April 07, 2007

I can't break away from these chains to my heart.

I want.But i'll get so screwd by everyone if i do this.

Ah nvm.I've got an announcement,i went for Chemistry!! And this is what Mr TKH said to me.

Mr TKH: Why you today no chalet thats why you made it here ah.
Me: No lah got no chalet haha.
Mr TKH: -sarcastic tone- Orh. Then Good Friday where you go?Church ah.

Oh Nicole bought me Starburst Babies sweets today!It was so cute i made my Starburst sit on the packet of sweets and snapped a photo of it.And my sister told me that horses can't shit.A person has to put their hands inside the horse's asshole and dig out the feaces.I don't know how true is that but she sure sounds convincing hmm..

Okay,sudden surge of emo-ness,shall not blog anymore lest i sound per-tha-tickzx.And you,get well soon alright.I want to see you well,perfectly well so you can spend my birthday with me.You have to keep your promise to me although i did not keep mine.
If i wanted another shot,would you too?
Mahjong session on in 10 minutes time!

} 4:57 PM

Friday, April 06, 2007

Stay tonight,and make everything alright.

Yes i made it.I sneaked out 20 mins after my dad reached home.And returned thereafter at 4.16am! Slept until 10.15am bfore my mother like pulled me up for mahjong.Crazy they(my family) are all addicts!!

Ya at DXO,i kinda got in illegally with Yasmin cause Manfred pressed his chop print on our hands.It was inverse but ok cause they weren't strict.Yasmin almost couldn't get in tho.

Lots of mats,lots of ahbengs,many sluts too.Ha.Saw shahirah and group and many others like the Janice,my school alumni.Ahem's ex girlfriend hmm.. Quite awkward ah but nvm i think she is a freaking loser cause the company she was with.. One of the guy is such a loser who used to be in Manf's school,who is ugly and fucking..shit

Okay back to my bunny! It is the love,but it fucking peed on me like 3 times already! Nvm everyone finds it cute,but my second sister threatens to chop it up and cook curry,what an asshole!

Oh wait i must add,there wasn't any drinks i was sober ha k bye!

} 10:47 PM

Thursday, April 05, 2007

DXOXOXOXOXOXO.

Fuck i'm pissed with my mother. I don't care!If she doesn't allow me to go to DXO tonight(which she obviously doesn't let),i'm sneaking out(so i'm sneaking out!)!!! Okay can. I won't get drunk,swear. Don't even know if there will be drinks ha. Oh and i lost my new Ripcurl wallet again today,shall not elaborate ugh

Anyway,the past week's been rather interesting.On Saturday was supposed to watch Mr Bean with the usuals but i kinda woke up late and also missed Physics.Ya i know i've never attended a single Saturday extra class,but at least i am going for Chem this Saturday okay! -applauses. Yup on Saturday missed the outing so stayed home and played mahjong with my family!! My sister's fiance/husband pon his exam lecture to play mahjong with us omg! & guess what! The previous week i lost money and got scolded for my lousy playing right! That Saturday i no win no lose,what an improvement ha! Then at night we had family/relatives dinner at my Uncle's.Was drinking with Matthew most of the time then left for home after that.We reached home at about 10,and continued playing mahjong until 2.30am lol!

On Sunday,we had more family mj!fuck i am so addicted :/

On Monday,i bought a buuuuunnnnyyyy love!!!! I bought the runt of the batch cause firstly the prettiest bunny i wanted was sold already,and the runt looked really pathetic and needed some lovin' as so i thought haha. So $10 down,my bunny is the love. It is so small i sometimes mistake it for a hamster ._. It's called Starburst! (Friend of XX's bunny Starbucks lol) Why 'it'?Cause its too young and the gender can't be told yet boo.At first mommy didn't allow,got really pissed and threatened to throw Starburst away!!But somehow,i got her to accept it,and now it's even living in my house :D It is so spoilt btw,it eats apples and only apples,plus it doesn't like to sleep in its box.It waits for me to carry it and stroke it to sleep lol.

And from tuesday till now,i've been in a good mood cause my bunny cheers me up in all aspects wooo! I love my bunny.Will post some pictures of it soon! Nicole bought a rabbit too,her's called Oishi Nemo Yin,mine Starburst Cream Yang.Her bunny's black and mine's white,explaining the Yin/Yang surname! Innovative no?Oh and my bunny peed on my shirt yday ^%&^%

Oh my parents found out about about my piercing already ha. They don't seem to mind somehow,considering the "You pierce your tongue i'm going to cut it off" threat from my mom. :)

Yay.Tonight,because i lost my wallet(with my home keys),i need to wait for my dad to be home and sleeping bfore i can use his keys to sneak out.Just hope my sister comes home really easrly and sleeps bfore everything,or comes home really late,and i'd be asleep even bfore she's home.I am afriad,but it's not a first time so okay i can do it.Now,i just need to find an ic shitz.

} 9:29 PM

Monday, April 30, 2007

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Monday, April 23, 2007

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Friday, April 06, 2007

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Hellogoodbye

Trashings

plug-in

Temptations

archive

shooooo

credits